a slow and steady hum

i am transfixed by the bees in the backyard. if i walk out there and they aren't buzzing around, i am disappointed. the weather has not been very bee friendly. today, i was watching them being buffeted about by the wind,trying to maintain their flight path.

i know i am the biggest bee phobe. well, actually, i have a phobia of stinging insects. as a new beekeeper's wife, i have to distinguish. when jason became determined to have a beehive, i became extremely nervous. he assured me over and over that there were docile and that stinging something was a last resort option for them, as unlike wasps, they die when they use their stingers. i was still nervous.

i am now cautiously relaxed around them, if that is such a state of being. i have touched the hive to see if i can feel the vibrations of their work, i took them out a small dish of water with pieces of cork in it for them to drink, i felt guilty for an entire evening when i realized when i was backing away from the hive i had accidentally smashed one with my flip flop, and i could sit on the grass about three feet from the hive and watch them for hours. i do not take the lid of the hive off and when jason had to refill the feeder, i kept a fair distance. i do not, however, experience the paralyzing panic i used to feel as a child when a flying insect would buzz near my head.

they are soothing to watch. they are so determined, so efficient, and so pretty. the colors of their abdomen start as a honey yellow and melt into a caramel. when the wind isn't blowing and there isn't a tremendous amount of traffic on the expressway, you can distinctly hear a humming from the hive. i wish i had better photos of them to post.

so, the bees are my newest form of therapy. i can almost feel a little more centered when i watch them, which is so ironic considering i spent every warm weather month as a child running away from them.